You might think this is cute, or endearing, but it’s just annoying. Plus, do you really want us thinking of you as a child? Who’s the creepy weirdo NOW, huh? You. That’s who Miss Pouty Pouterson.
2. Baby Talk
Oy. Please see #1. Just don’t do this. Maybe once as a joke, but continued baby talk will get you a one way ticket to “singles-ville”.
3. Monster Boobs
We’re guys, we love boobs. But HUGINORMOUSE boobs are just outrageous and a turn OFF. So unless you were gifted from the man upstairs with an F cup, don’t go upsizing your puppies.
4. Acting Helpless
Hey, ask us for help with things like fixing a flat, changing your oil, or killing a spider..but when we have to open every can of soda, google every place you want to visit, and change the channel on the TV for you, the line has to be drawn.
5. Being Coy
Just be up front. Stop making us read your mind.
6. Bragging About Your Sexiness
Oh, you fancy huh? Like to be the center of attention? Confidence is one thing, just don’t cross into the land of narcissism. Nobody likes that.
7. Phallic Foods in Public
Ok, eat a popsicle in the summer all sexy like. But don’t over do this one. I’ll never be able to eat a carrot, or a banana, or a cucumber the same way after your horrific display of “erotica”.